Gary Aker

 

The Last Crusade

I imagine her blue sky

can only carry youth’s standards

A flag planted now fallen in the battlefield

Are soldiers forgiven because they died

before they got old

We expect our children to comfort

or declare how a parent mattered

instead life is drowning in a deluge of

things become more important

when you reach a certain age

My things versus your things

Fly girl fly

 

Hope does not abundantly play

in my body no longer boldly

skimming over hills and valleys

Youth has been spent

as my only child climbs the ranks

in the Air force ready

to rip more limbs off innocent

children will die

innocent

and never grow old enough

to become this helplessly unforgiven

Fly girl fly

 

The child still wants out

stifled afraid to see

this much pain

How can anyone be forgiven

for this movement of planes

across borders over seas

bombing all solutions

that could heal the unforgiven

I’m old enough to suffer

every injustice as if someone slapped

my mother-in-a-wheelchair

Fly girl fly

 

I argue with youth everyday

like mice stealing my food

wind taking my apples down

like the Captain she is in the Air

Force killing any hope of finding

solutions in the craters empty

distant as the moon I try

to bring us together

My mother shaking in Parkinson’s fist

my daughter giving mind and body to war

I’m writing between these extremes

Fly girl fly

 

The outline up there is too faint

beyond my believing borders

If I’m not bombing someone with my

Power attainment wealth

then I cease to exist

We are the lords of privilege

dominating the world and its people

with every new luxury purchase

compared to rice and beans so carefully

prepared poems can harm no one

still I am unforgiven

Fly girl fly

 

She left me for a younger man

dressed in white and gold

She loves his might and power

bends the older poet fingers curled around a

laughing stock compared to her

subordinates give their Captain a stunning salute

War fashions men who can’t fight

into toothless lions

suitable for the circus

mawing the hand still feeds

At least youth has another chance to

Fly girl fly

 

I never told her about this

message vapors unclear

Who stole time or did

time forget itself

marching into the contrail skies

I want to forgive her

faint hope’s horizon

dusky pink premise

instead I blame myself

for not fighting hard enough

unforgiven I am unforgiving

Fly girl fly

 

I lie awake waiting for the next TV

show me your love

tell me I am

Forgetting when I was young

and indifferent to the pain

in the eyes of the world

watching and judging me

wrongly accused is what I thought

tossing down another drink

dream girlfriend scene

gave birth to you

Fly girl fly

 

 

gary aker

11/11/03