In recent weeks, I've heard numerous accounts in the media that America is spending more time at work than any other industrialized nation; along with reports that the family is disintegrating due to neglect. There have been numerous psychologists, sociologists, biologists, ecologists, anthropologists, and almost every other kind of "ologist" throwing their conjecture around like a bloated medicine ball hoping to make an impact on the dartboard of the American family. All of these pompous prognosticators have over analyzed the circumstances and missed the real reason for this phenomenon. It's pure. It's simple. Low Volume Toilets are the catalyst for a massive social shift to the work place.

How many times have you flushed your low volume toilet to watch in horror as that little trickle tries to move the contents to the magical dark void of contentment? Your heart beats fast, breath becomes shallow. Standing on your tiptoes with all the body English you can muster as you vicariously coach the struggle in the bowl. And if your coaching is successful you feel lucky, relieved in all senses of the word, not to have to go for the second flush or even the plunger.

This scene is all too common in the American household today. Where once the mighty Niagara ran with the power to demolish a croquet ball which could neither swim up-stream nor stand against the awesome power of the American toilet of yesteryear, but now this meager little trickle that can hardly move a bubble gum wrapper has replaced the magnificent spectacle of power to which we had all become accustomed.

Sad to say this has forced unforeseen behavioral changes in the average American. Forced to flee to the work place where the strong flush thrives unashamed to trade a couple of extra gallons for a peace of mind that only comes from a brisk departure of what was left behind. So, for that simple fact Americans are spending more time at work and being more productive. And why not? While I'm here I'll get a little work done… It makes sense. You can't just go to work to go to the bathroom. That would be hard to justify in the mind, not to mention to the spouse and children. So it is… a simple biological urge has unintentionally manipulated the American work force to increase productivity or face embarrassment. You and I know that Americans will go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment, hence the cover of increased productivity.

What about weekends? Do you think it's any coincidence that cheese has become the favorite weekend food? A cheese pizza, macaroni and cheese, cheese dip and the cheeseburger out sell any thing else on Friday night in hopes to hold over until Monday.

To discourage company the plunger is left beside the bowl and Liquid Plummer on the counter. That's the international symbol that this house harbors low volume toilets and maybe everyone should eat out at one of those restaurants with the quality toilets. Never mind the menu, the restaurant has had a million successful flushes.

What I wouldn't give to go back to a time when cars had metal dashboards, pollution was a sport and a single flush of a toilet could sweep away a small child.